Yes Means Yes, No Means No, Maybe Means…?

Now that cooler weather is here, my husband and I like to sit around the fire pit in the backyard and invite friends and neighbors over. We usually wind up with four or five people over, and we shoot the breeze until we all get tired and call it a night.

This past weekend, a couple of people said they were coming, yet didn’t show. It prompted me to say to my husband that night, “You know what I hate? I hate when people say they’re going to come over and then they don’t show up and they don’t call.”

A couple of days later, Ginger, one of the no-shows (a very good friend with whom I can have an honest conversation) called to apologize for being a no-call, no-show. I told her that since she brought it up… and I shared what I had said to my husband.

She laughed and said, “Wait a minute, I said I’d probably show up. I didn’t say it was a definite.”

Which resulted in a several-minutes-long conversation on the definition of yes, no, and all those muddy words in between.

Here’s my philosophy on those words: yes means yes. No means no. Maybe means no. “I’ll try” means no. Probably means no. In my mind, anything other than “yes” means no.

Let’s use the Facebook event feature as an example. How many times have you marked the “maybe” box and actually shown up at the event? I bet the answer for many of you is “never.”

Here’s what “maybe” means to me: I don’t want to go to your event, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you no. Therefore, I’ll sit on the fence rather than commit to one side or the other. Oh, and I won’t show. But you can’t be upset because I didn’t say “yes,” I said “maybe.”

I understand I’m a relatively black-and-white kind of girl, so I wasn’t surprised when Ginger further muddied my waters. It’s not that simple, she said.

Maybe actually means that there’s an 80 percent chance that the answer is no.

Probably actually means that there’s an 80 percent chance that the answer is yes.

So not only is this not black-and-white, percentages are involved?! Good grief. This is why I’m a writer, not an accountant.