Religion in the City – The Dance

I still hear my dad’s voice saying to me, “everything has a proper place!” He usually said this as he watched me attempting to stick the clutter of my room under my bed! Now, 30 some years later, I am still dealing with structure, organization and the proper times and places for the things that I feel I must do. There has always been this tension between the things I feel I have to do and the things I want to do. Sometimes, I wonder, where is God in the midst of the tension?

Every now and then I get disgusted with the chaos level in my life. Possibly this is why I have recently become so dependent on my pocket PC. Yes it is nice to get my email everywhere, to text, tweet and IM with friends from states as far as Illinois and as close as the table across from me at Mitchells Coffee. However my favorite feature on my Pocket PC is the calendar “reminders”. I have set these little reminders to pop up and tell me where I need to be and what I need to be doing all day. I am someone who likes to be early for meetings so I set reminders for an hour before my next appointment so I can always be thinking ahead. I like to organize my life in such a way that I can be doing many projects at the same time. What doctors tell my generation is ADD, we simply tell them is multitasking!

Sometimes I feel like a part of the modern day DMV driving test should include coming off an exit ramp, merging into traffic driving with their knee, Big Gulp in one hand while the other is texting a message!

However sometimes in the midst of my organizing and multitasking, I find God will send messengers to tell me—“don’t forget the balance of just being”. While following the direction of one Pocket PC reminder, I ran out of a church meeting to grab a hurried lunch before my next meeting with the city. Lunch is a good time to return texts, direct tweets and emails on my phone. However, the waitress who took my order lingered at my table and eventually sat down to share her life story. A single mother with a disabled child, whose husband left her, with a car that had just broken down. I knew immediately that there was no meeting, no space, time or plan that was more important than this privileged conversation.

When I allow myself the time to just be God sends random encounters; strangers, friends and situations that either speak to my faith or give me opportunities to share hope. Most people live with a kind of dichotomy. They want to be organized, purposeful and stable people, and yet they have spirits which want to be free, passionate and spontaneous.

Most of my life I have seen this pull inside of me as a weakness. “I should be studying more, I should be more organized, I should not be so impulsive.” Basically growing up I have should all over myself!

The sad truth is that when we constantly try to control or adapt our lives to meet the expectations of our parents, bosses, relationships or even God, we set ourselves up for constant disappointment. Even to the point of resenting God because the world will not seem to conform to our egos and organized desires. The lie I believe most of us live with is that if we would just do or live right, God will have everything fixed in our favor!

The apostle Paul addressed the church of Rome’s desire for their way in the world: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)

Sometimes in reaction to life not conforming to our will, we fall prey to the other side of the coin, apathy. Putting up walls around ourselves, we stop caring about changing ourselves or the world. We use words like “that is just the way it is”, “some things will never change” or my favorite “we have always done it that way!”

Could it be that inner peace is not about conforming to a certain routine or plan, but simply comes out of being willing to live with intentionality, to live within the tensions in our life and faith? Could our purposeful engagement through faith in God’s creation and purpose be our key to inner peace?

This tension can be visualized in the book of Isaiah and its depiction of Jacob wrestling with God. Jacob is wrestling with an inner tension between his personal needs and his calling in the world. Several religions speak of this intentional tension between self and other, between right and wrong and walking a tight rope of faith. The Buddah said “All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.” Rabbi Hillel spoke of the tension between self and other by pointing out “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I?” The Hindu community of Shankaracharya have a saying about being everything and nothing at the same time, “I am neither detachment nor salvation, nor anything reached by the senses; I behold all thought and form. I am everywhere and nowhere at all – I am Consciousness and Bliss.”

A life of peace and love no more comes out of being passive about life than it comes from trying to control it. Faith is not black and white, faith comes out of the tension, it comes out of the dance. I once told a high school teacher I was lucky that I passed his test. He replied, “There is no such thing as luck. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity!” The test you’re taking, the job you’re doing, the people who touch your life and the lives you touch are not mishaps of luck. Our part of God’s creation is born out of an open-eyed intentionality to love our neighbor and self as God first loved us.

I can see in my life when I am living the right tension or dance. When the organization of my Pocket PC gives my life the freedom to both have random encounters with angels, friends, and moments of grace. Yet, I am still grounded and structured enough to be purposefully present at the same time. The reminders from my Pocket PC should not tie me down, they should free me.

This week, as your organizing your office or sitting down for coffee with an old friend, do not be afraid to just be at peace in the moment you are living. Do not be afraid of the dance.