Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I know this is late. I’m sure you’re very busy, but I wanted to make sure I was good all the way up to the deadline. I have everything I want, but I was hoping you could bring a few things for some friends..

• Santa, some of my blogger friends could use an extra gift this year. They’ve been ever so busy. Josh missed the 2007 Indianapolis Grand Prix and they’re not having one in 2008. Could you bring him tickets to the 2008 Montreal Grand Prix? Lorrie could use some more numbing cream…this time for her toe. Cat could use an article in Rolling Stone entitled, “Lakeland: The Place to Live after College.”

• Could you bring my friends in Winter Haven a new map? They must have a bad one. They’re always talking about living in some county called “East Polk.”

• Santa, not everyone likes turkey. Could you leave heaping plates of pasta to each of the members of the Polk County School Board? Well, except for Brenda Reddout, she should get a drumstick and a gold star.

• The Lakeland Police Department could use 10 red light cameras. I just ask they include the proper yellow lights, and contracts that favor the city.

• My friends at USF Lakeland no longer like their last name. It makes me sad, but life goes on. Santa, could you bring them note cards and stationary with their new name?

• Could you find it in your heart to leave a note at someone’s house? The fine folks at the Downtown Lakeland Partnership have been trying to contact someone and they’re having no luck. Tonight, when little Charlie Crist leaves you milk and cookies, could you leave him a short note? Suggest that to truly be a good boy, he should come visit us in Lakeland? And Santa, if he ignores your note, next year could you leave him a railroad car full of coal?

• Santa, the reindeer seem out of work 364 days a year. Could you loan them to my friends at CSX? They really could use them to fly trains over Lakeland.

• My last friend has had a really tough year. Ill advised private meetings, mail woes, and general bad press. But, Santa, what’s worse is their living arrangements. Santa, could you bring the Lakeland Chamber of Commerce a little place to call their own? They’ve rented for over 30 years Santa. Don’t you think it’s time they put down roots?

Thank you. Your friend,

Chuck

2 thoughts on “Dear Santa

  1. I love the Lakeland Chamber comment. And I hope Santa isn’t skimpy with the numbing cream…

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